i've countlessly observed you at such microscopic views and have found that as day by day goes, i love every single thing you hate about yourself more and more. from the small specs of your after-shave to the substantial scars across your beautifully framed face; i love it all. i love them.

i've doubted your facts and have called you terrible names. i regret the many times i act like an immature 5 year old and let the green monster take control of my heart and mind. i should know that being loved by you is all plentiful for me and i should stop being disbelieveling and dubious towards you.

i've made unconscious remarks about your physical appearances that i didn't realize would cause you to think that i wasn't happy with how you look. i hope you know that i never had intentions of making you feel negative about yourself. i hope you know that in my eyes, you are one of the most beautiful people i've ever met in my life. and i hope you know that no one is perfect, and no matter how much you change or do not change in the future, my feelings for you will still be the same. no change. nothing.

i've made the mistake of letting you go years ago, although i still knew i loved you as much as i did the day before. until this day, i'm still not abided to what was my diminished reason of ending what we had. and now i'm coming to realize that i cannot afford to mess anything up anymore and risk ruining this like how i have ruined it before.

i've come to a clear decision.

no matter what happens or if we were ever to turn a different page,

i will always love you.

nope.
i'm not ready to forgive and forget.

because i'm officially obsessed.

IS THIS THE CUTEST THING OR WHAT!?


eee hensem :)

SiuWern, i have 20,000 more pictures of him. gimme yr pendrive and you can die happily ;)

because permanence is not for me.

have been crying and frowning the past few days.
some with understandable reasons, some without.


Pavitira, my good friend, had once told me before.
and she stays the only person who has said that to me, without holding back.

the problem with you is you hold on so tight to things that shouldn't even matter. you need to learn to be a little bit loose and let go.

i hate her because she's so right.

i'm one of those people who have complications on what to hold on to, and what not to.

i truly take, longer time than most human beings do,
to let go off something that was part of the past and should stay in the past. vengeance, jealousy, bitter hatred, depredation... you name it.


and sometimes i take, a longer time,
to fully comprehend that grieving about something is not gonna solve it.
neither will it be able to slip past my gripping thought. instead, figure out ways to appreciate the silver lining in the grey cloud. and work on it so it stands out and outshines everything else that shouldn't be bothering me.

i know i can be stronger than this.

i cannot continue letting discrete mistakes of someone drive me paranoid. what more; discrete mistakes that were made months and years ago.

i apologize for being so difficult, and to make you sigh or laugh everytime i let you know about this silly thing that stays in my mind from time to time. i know it drives you crazy, so please bear with me. i'll be okay. give me some time.

God, you made me so happy today when i was in Your presence.

will you leave my cup filled with Your love, please?

Permanent- David Cook

sebab aku malas.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

i'm sorry for everything that happened and everything i did!

please still love me x(

aww. don't you just love these two?

i love the screaming one more though.

LAMBERT FOR IDOL, PEOPLE!

because if you don't know, there's something wrong with you.

you know H1N1 has came to Penang already?

uh, whats that?

had great motorbiking fun with Jega again today.
the girl just pops out of nowhere at my frontgate and asks if i wanna go for a ride lol. i love her i love her i love her. for the people who think of her otherwise, i guess you don't really like motorbike rides? or maybe you're just a real bitter sap who can't enjoy simple happiness :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

only for Quest fans viewing pleasure.

if not, you're just wasting your time haha

but come on la, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW QUEST?

mei's profile inspired: no one around the corner got a swagga like em'.

fo realz yaw.

In Your Atmosphere- John Mayer

because i'm fine now. percaye?

the most queer thing to happen. ever.

Biology today, and we learned about PMS.
left tuition earlier with The Teman. must.watch.American.Idol.results.

but NO, had to sampai home lambat jugak and then no one was at home.
TOTAL PMS MOMENT.

had to go over to the Vergara's residence.

aunty gave me the keys. no one was gonna be home. she let me jaga rumah.

didn't know how to work their tv. they have three remotes.

hence = cannot watch American Idol results.

TOTAL PMS MOMENT PART 2.

'oh it's okay, can watch the repeat later. still excited whooh!'
then get sms; 'I CAN'T BELIEVE DANNY GOKEY'S OUT'
TOTAL PMS MOMENT SEQUEL.


called The Teman with the Vergara's house phone.
vent vent vent. literally whined, yelped and screamed.
TOTAL PMS MOMENT PART 4.


balik rumah, mother and sister piss me off.
can't blame them aa, but it was all too much of a coincidental string.
so, TOTAL PMS MOMENT PART 5.


called The Teman, again.
talking about how it could all possibly be, because of a PMS coming soon.
dpt PMS while talking to The Teman.

i'll still love you, my idol :)

Crazy- Aerosmith

because it's like whoah. damn nice.

day's highlights:
MACARONY.
the most tiring Math paper i have ever sat for IN MY LIFE. read again; not most tough, not most hard, most TIRING. sit down until bontot sakit and neck aching. oh well, frown turned upside down. sbb ade org dtg ke rumah utk 2 minit dan buat aku gembiraaa :) :) :) lepas tu, buat panggilan random HAHA sukeee

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i love Jega and her motorbike :)

and i love having the drizzly wind in my hair!

after SPM, we go ronda-ronda around Rampai whole afternoon okeh?

this is my second time following The Biggest Loser competition series on tv. i used to think it was one of those lame reality shows of everyday Joes and Janes competing and backstabbing each other to win some fancy cash prize.

but oh was i proven wrong.

in case some of you kataks don't know what its about; well its about a few people who are selected out of hundreds of thousands of auditionees who are.. overweight, morbidly obese and mostly facing deadly risks like coronary heart disease, hypertension, fatty liver disease... and basically, the one who losest the most weight at the end of the day ( 'Biggest Loser') walks away with some good money.

so yeah it is still a reality tv show.
but this one.. this one is really inspiring to watch.

i know right, what can be so interesting about watching fat people lose weight?

and oh, one good thing bout watching;
the trainers are smoking. like whoaaah~

Jillian Michaels

Kim Lyons

i was just watching one of the season's finale ep earlier today, where the final four standing will weigh in to see who loses most weight according to their original body masses. of course, the past contestants also must comeback looking good right?


i think just following their four months of excrutiating experience of shedding and throwing away all the baggage, and not just physical baggage but emotional baggage as well.. is truly, truly inspiring to me. and they're away from their families and loved ones, making it alot harder because there is no support and the only one they can depend on is themselves.

it is astounding to me to see people gain their own inner independence,
to have their life completely changed,

and for some, to finally own the life that they've never ever had.

one of the many outcomes of the contestants at the end of the show

somehow it all makes me cry and i don't really know why.

inspirational lah, inspirational.

we don't know what its like to have given up completely in yourself and let the weight of the world just pile up on your shoulders. and then, finally getting the courage to make a decision to change it all, make a difference and fight. to fight for your life, your family, your loved ones. fighting to achieve something you've never achieved. i mean, these people work for it with such determination, strength, patience and goal. it's just impossible to not be eye-opened.

i only hope for God to grant me the strong hearts of these heroes.

oh how i hope. :)

kerana JULIYAWERN sgt happening, en Idzwan?

i was also in this conversation, but Idzwan just left me speechless.



idzwan:
i nak masuk dalam juliyawern gak
hahaha
julIyawern

juLIYawern:
hakalah
semak
kau ambik I tu
aku nak letak mane?

idzwan:
hahahaha
kau L je

juLIYawern:
sahsah kau gedik
nak join gang ppuan

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ditag oleh juliYAwern :D


1. Apakah benda yang paling penting dalam hidup anda?
BAJU :)- kerana baju sgt essential dlm hidup saya
kitab, internet, rerakan, jus papaya, tisu utk lap muka bile berpeluh dll


2. Apakah benda terakhir yang kamu beli dengan wang sendiri?
biskut Tiger vanilla. mm sedaaap~
tapi Jega berikan RM1 kerana masa tu xckp duit ahak


3. Di manakah tempat impian perkahwinan kamu?
di atas puncak KLCC
aceh xdelah, mana2 pn blh, aslkn kahwin dgn cinta abadiku :)


4. Berapa lama anda rasa hubungan anda kekal?
sampai naik syurga, blh?


5. Adakah anda dilamun cinta?
teramat-amat :) hmmm


6. Di manakah restoran terakhir anda makan malam?
mana ye.. hmm...
aaa NZ!


7. Namakan buku terakhir yg anda beli?
ya TUHAN
buku nota blh?


8. Apakah nama penuh anda?
Wong Ju Yi


9. Anda lebih senang dengan mak atau bapak?
kakak. HAHA


10. Namakan seseorang yang anda ingin jumpa untuk kali pertamanya dalam hidup
yg ni, kena ikut Divya gak;
Hugh Jackmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn *air liur tgh meleleh*


11. Sebutkan 8 sahabat yang paling rapat dengan anda bkn dalam susunan
yg ni, saya mesti kategorikan kpd jejaka hensemku & gegadis cantikku;


Ranjali, Edna, SiuWern, Foon Ye lulz, Liyana, Divya, Ines, PAVITIRA!
BoonAun, BoonHoe, Logan, Nadeem, Idzwan, Noel, Kuhan, Nicolas Vergara


mmg ade bnyk lagi, tetapi apakah blhku bikin?
soalan hnya bagi namakan 8 :(


12. Adakah anda mencuci pakaian sendiri?
tidak. berdikari en?


13. Tempat paling seronok yang anda mahu pergi
Los kepada itu ( to the ) Angeles!


14. Pelukan atau ciuman?
cilukan. HAHA


15. Butirkan 5 tentang orang yang tag anda
-berkepala hexagon. ye ye
-DNA. sumpah pelik tp xpe beta ampunkan
-sebahagian drpd JULIYAWERN
-menyayangi saya lebih drpd Liy :)
-berdsrkan saiz buah dadanya, saya membuat kesimpulan dia ske minum jus papaya :)


16. 8 perkara yang amat saya gilai buat masa ini
-Idola America
-luangkan masa bersama rakan-rakan tersyg
-tarian JaiHo oleh Pepatung Kucing ( Pussycat Dolls )
-pencil tekan hijau :)
-suara saya dlm radio/telefon bunyi mcm ade penyakit hidung
-buah naga ( dragon fruit? )
-siapkan ulangkaji Matematik Ting.4
-selulit dlm punggungku. YA TUHAAAAN


17. 8 perkara yang sering diucapkan
-CAMBOWDOOOOW
-ei, i love you :)
-HAI
-sumpah damn fck
-fck it lah
-aaah FCK!
-oh MAGNESIUM!
-ya ampun


18. 8 buah buku yang terbaru anda baca
ade satu buku best; Nanjing; Sebuah Kisah Cinta
tp kali terakhir pegang buku tersebut adalah 4 bulan lalu HAHA


19. 10 lagu yang saya boleh dengar berulang kali
-Home Sweet Home, Carrie Underwood
-It's Only Life, Kate Voegele
-When I Grow Up, Pussycat Dolls
-Mastermix, Quest Crew
-Diva, Beyonce
-The Climb, Miley Cyrus
-Believe, The Bravery
-Love Story, Taylor Swift
-Forever & Always, Taylor Swift
-Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, Aerosmith


20. 8 perkara yang saya pelajari tahun lalu
-org yg kita sayangi, tidak akan berada disisi kita buat selamanya
-sebagaimanapun susah cabaran hidup, kita mesti blh merintanginya :)
-jgn bergerak2 bnyk selepas makan. blh dpt apendiks
-org disekeliling kita sentiasa mempunyai hati yg mengambil berat
-F.R.I.E.N.D.S adalah siri televisyen yg PALING HEBAT DI DUNIA
-perkara paling menyakitkan adalah melihat org yg anda cintai & yg tlh melafazkan cinta kpd anda, berada disisi org lain di depan mata anda
-utk mengekalkan kesahabatan, usaha mesti dilakukan
-sudoku adalah permainan minda yg sgt menyeronokkan =DD


21. Mari men'tag 3 orang lain
-Grace
-Yvonne
-Sherlina
:D


The Climb- Miley Cyrus

hmmm.

because i uhh... love my mom? HAH

so this is what happened;


my mom was jogging around the neighbourhood with her LG flip phone.. then pops into the house panting like some dying horse;

JuYi JuYi! send this sms.. bla bla bla your name ic to this number yeda yeda...

for what?

aiyoh just do it lah!

and according to her, i was supposed to answer questions regarding her.
thus, the public humiliation of having to say vice versa.
but nothing is more publicly humiliating than the last question..... *screams*

i'll know if i'm winning the grand prize later today
would love to go on a limo ride with mummy! :)


Home Sweet Home- Carrie Underwood

because you should always acknowledge.

i don't think i will ever forget this moment, as far as i ever need to recollect memories of being a part of SMK Seksyen 5 Wangsa Maju.


it was Monday assembly;
prize-giving ceremony for Language Week. was helping out and went up a few times because i won a few things lah; some in which i truly did not deserve. while i was collecting one of the prizes, PnGeetha managed to slip in a few encouraging words to the massive student crowd;

people, give it up for this girl.

many of you ought to take her for example.

she has been so active throughout the month of April.

i have to say, it felt pretty damn nice to have a Moral teacher say things like that about you.

while helping out with the arrangement of the gifts, i noticed this stack of VanHouten chocolates, so gorgeously wrapped up, six bars in each gold box. being the cold hearted person i am, i was wondering to myself... 'zomg which student so deserving to get this lah?'



PnTan comes up to the podium, and she talked about Labour Day which was a few days back. she called up six of the school's janitors/gardeners/labour workers. name by name. each of them getting a box to themselves and sharing a personal picture with PnTan as the crowd clapped and cheered rapidly. to see them smiling from ear to ear in their striking blue uniforms, sitting on chairs right behind the teachers! it was a sight unlike any other.


being resident students of SV; really, how many of us truly recognize and acknowledge the presence of the people who sweep our corridors clean and keep our school pretty in green? to be honest, i don't. i don't know their names or remember how some of them even look like. that small thing that PnTan did was a good slapping reminder for us to remember appreciating the people around us whom we let slip past our plain sight.

thank you.

on a complete different note,




i want to especially thank the special person who became the content of my winning essay. thank you for being a part of my life; thank you for still being a part of my life and hopefully i can continue thanking you if you continue being a part of my life, as far as the diminished future goes. i share this prize of honour with you. :)



If I Can't Have You- Adam Lambert

because of heels, peels and free meals.

AIYOHH
today hari yang amat best.
actually the past few days have been great; just talk bout today lah.
i'm gonna do random rambling; sorry, no meaningful writings for today ;p


morning.

got the new kimono on and headed to Edna's confirmation! girl looked AHMAAAZIN in her white dress. Caryn as well. a big jinjang group of us was there at Good Sheperds' to show support to all SVians who were getting confirmed such as Nicolas Vergara, Brian Nolan and apple's boyfriend, Johnathan Chua Sang Long. who looked impeccably hensem. wait la intan, you'll get pictures ;D

but actually,

everyone looked really good.

Nicolas with his batik filipino... wuish. lucky yr stalkers not there today.

and helloooo~
all my girlfriends looked pretty damn amazing, i must say! :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

afternoon.

what; cannot finish your food ah?

omg thats like asking whether cows can moo.

i should really just marry an Indian in future... or marry someone who can cook Indian food. Edna's dad booked this indian restaurant a few steps away from Pavillion, all for us friends of Edna Rajan and the whole Rajan clan. and i ate....... like no other because 1)it was buffet and 2)because i could eat up the Boonman, DG and DB's portions who were MIA.


then it was Pavillion!
with the FlatAss, BigAss, Boobies and Thinspo.


there's something about hanging with this rowdy bunch of girls... that makes me laugh and snort so much until liquid oozes out from my nostrils. i literally felt myself visiting my fourteen year old times; just literally laughing at everything and anything and taking vain pictures in every reflection we stumbled upon, like the picture we took in the parking lot's convex mirror.


of course,
there were also the essential try-on-dresses moments. :)

boy have i not done this for a loooong time~

i loike this dress so much.

the price tag, not so much.

we also tried on some lingerie in TANGS... yeah that one, you don't need to see the pictures.

lepas itu, kami berasa lapar haha suddenly speaking bahasa say whaaat. and kami nk makan TGIF's punya brownies dgn ice-cream. mmm, dengar pon perut dh bising en? so BontotLeper telefon dekat abg dier supaya boleh mintak itu GM utk bagi diskaun kat kite org. krn abg dier kenal itu GM. abg dier ckp boleh boleh. so kami pon pergi ke TGIF, dgn alasan nak duduk kerana kaki dh sakit jalan sini jalan sana sbg alasan utama.

eh mmg betol okeh.

kaki-kaki kite org dh ada blisters & red marks yg berbagai.

so we sat at a table opposite this Craig David looking guy, who smiled at BigAss. then we laugh tergedik-gedik because the guy was really cute HAHA. when our food came, OHMAGNESIUUUM. saliva meleleh sampai kena lutut. we finished the whole bowl in four minutes i think? then Edna's father calls and says he's already waiting for us outside.

umm yes we'd like the bill please.

oh our GM has already settled the bill, don't worry bout that. :)

if i knew our meal would've been free, we should've ate more maan

-name will not be mentioned to protect the innocent

okay, ayah org dh tunggu kite org. on the other side of the building lagi tu. what do you do? take off your blister-causing heels and make a run for it. actually i was the only one who did that amongst the five of us girls. so yeah i can officially say; i have ran barefooted in Pavillion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

night.

Jap buffet with family.

don't know how my tumtum can handle the pressure but i'll try.

byeee :)

i barely took photos today but there are about twenty five thousand photos in the other six cameras. good shots will be uploaded, i promise!

i love my chicas!

and also you, my favourite boy!

EDIT

hello, perut mcm mau meletup dgn itu semua sashimi.

i had like... ten oysters? and... eight glasses of wine?

i'm a little tipsy right now as i tpye this haha x)

this photo marks my... 9th glass i think.

i was really, REALLY red.

and HOLY MAMA FREAKING HEAVENS;

you know Simon Yam, one of HongKong's top legendary actors aka husband of model, Qiqi? bapak famous for doing action movies?

look who was in the same restaurant with him today.

it's Simon freaking Yam, people.

Don't Trust Me- 3OH!3